When did life get so messy? Just when you think you have everything under control, which is honestly laughable because you never do… the bottom always seems to drop out but not only that, when you tried so hard to prove your words, yourself, you entire being, you just have to shake your head and say okay there are no words-they’re absolutely no words to even describe the feelings of being in love and loving someone to your core and having it blow up in your face, open heart and profusely bleeding out. And to sum it up no this love is not tragic. There are literally no words to define this just yet! May 21-25, 2026

Tuesday the 26th and life as we know it becomes more patient with a stroke of a hand starting at the top of a beautiful woman’s head to her back, sounds rather cliche don’t you think but finding many ways to understand this lovestruck madness.

Learning to just be still in it seems to be keeping all the longing at bay to think of him or call out his name. Such a foolish girl would let herself fall so deeply and not to care to tell the world.

That is how you know when you are in love! Or is it…Yeah my world will be forever be changed and for that I’m blessed and now cursed by the thought, so vivid!

His love was like a wave rolling in and rolling out carrying me back and forth every single time twirling my mind and my heart. He knew my every thought to the point he could predict me… he had me and there was nothing he couldn’t have.

Promising myself every time he would go that not to let myself to go back that I was done but that never really panned out did it?! Always got his way, his charm had a speciality-breadcrumbs I call them. Just enough to keep my focus on the prize of him.

Then like the wave he went back out to sea and my mind was always on him. He had won yet again and as he did everytime. I literally mind fucked myself. Believing anything that came from that mouth even when I knew it not to be so, I didn’t care because I loved him.

It wasn’t toxic or manipulative, believing with my whole heart that it was simply his safeguard of protecting his own heart and having studied him for so long truly this I see. Also, it was an unconditional love so he really couldn’t hide from me when we were together I gave him a safe space to be him self. Life truly is funny isn’t it.

I still have many questions about it all but doubtful they get answered and truth be told when you know you can’t unknow even when it’s your Aquarian intuition telling you where to unlock doors next.

Then to drown in your own sea of desperation to take it all back as if it never happened because you think that you would feel better and you wouldn’t be in the place that you’re in now.

But sitting still in my own patience I honestly don’t think it would be any better to have not love like that at all because that’s just sad. The question comes to mind, isn’t that why we’re here?…To love!

Knowing that it can’t be rainbows and unicorns all the time but guess I’m just a hopeless romantic and I love-love. With the way the world is today Lord knows it is a lot more fun to think about it than it is to be without it.

Not giving up on love and don’t feel like love is giving up on me. Just will definitely be more careful in who to give my heart. As an Aquarius and a humanitarian the doormat has been removed from the outside of my door.

There is always a moral to every story, so they say… I’m leaving you with some information and retrospect.

We are all the villains, victims, and heros in our story line from who we chose the role to play. Not seeing his love nor his lack there of as good nor bad nor blame or pity on my feelings.

I made a conscious decision to jump in his waters and inturn decided to come up for air and stop drowning. You can’t make people be nor see who they are in your mind. That beauty can only be felt by those open enough to receive it and by no fault of your own did they not want to, they just didn’t know how.

Putting another on a kings thrown or a pedistool is a tricky move like when to move your chess pieces with that said, never play love like a game or you both will lose.

His love was like a wave and being wrapped up and washed to shore that gift left me and I became the pearl.

Thank You!

xoxo CAT